This is my last post as my week has come to an end, so I have one last cheating post that my uncle really wrote. He has wrote so many posts as God has been guiding/teaching/leading him through this painful process. The following post he actually wrote Saturday morning (25th) almost 5 weeks after his wife of over 25 years "got lucky" as he puts it.

Last night climbed Mt Horeb again- I mean Squaw Peak. Might as well be Mt Horeb. I did not see any burning bushes but God gently refocused me again by the time I got down. I really felt His peace- wait was that because God was refocusing me or because I was done abusing myself? Probably both applied, but He did slow me down and talked to me about my mind set. I have done a pretty good job not asking why this has all happened, but I have not been handling the "when" very well. "When will this be over?, "When will I feel normal?", "When does the crying stop?".

You see I know the answers. He has been showing me the process and the plan, but I have tried to make this happen, to push the envelope and speed it up. This is our normal inclination of trying to control things. When we try to do the impossible in our own limited strength we get frustrated. Refocused "in quietness and trust is your strength" Isa 30:15 again. Boy did I feel that as I hit the bottom of the peak. It really is kind of silly to ask when this will be over, but we do this all the time. God working on molding me does not stop. He promises to finish the task until we get lucky. Keep looking beyond the circumstance- see the big picture. Colossians 3:2 "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth". Not on how I am feeling, but what I will be in Him. Luke 9:23 also came to mind: "And He was saying to them all, "if anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me". This does not mean to literally make a cross, put wheels on the one end, and drag it across the country. It does not mean we break the huddle and get out there and win one for God. That is us doing the work in our limited power again. He says to "follow Me". This means denying my wants and desires that are selfish and nailing them to the cross. Allowing myself to be crucified so God can work through me. Not my plan, not my will, not my "when", but His. Stop trying to carry your cross around in your own strength that gets tiring and frustrating. Jesus carried His to Calvary to get rid of it for us. We just need to "follow Him". Thanks Father for the refocus of quietness and trust being my strength. Love you tons.

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I hope this past week has benefited you as you have read about how God leads/comforts and is sovereign over all situations even paralyzing ones like this.

Blogger Out

-Eric House